Sex – the body language of love

Sex – the communication of love

Sex is not just sex, it is communication. It is the body language of love. Sex is about interaction, about sharing. However, there is a big difference between “having sex” and “becoming one flesh”. “Becoming one flesh” is the dialog of love: I give myself to you and you give yourself to me. It is devotion with body and soul, with skin and hair, with no ulterior motives.
However, love does not always have to go hand in hand with sex. Sometimes abstaining from sex can even be a greater sign of love than the immediate satisfaction of desires. Lowering sex to the level of superficial contact between random bodies would mean robbing the other person of their dignity. The act of sex should be the culmination of a love story that both hope will never end.

Sex and bonding

Sex is not just a physical activity. It is about uniting with the other – with body, soul and spirit. Sex just for fun does not do justice to the deep meaning of human sexuality. Often all that remains afterwards is disappointment and hurt, a feeling that blunts and ultimately devalues sex. If two people decide to have sex without commitment, something may yet happen that they may not even have decided on: Whether they admit it or not, sex creates a bond between them that is more than just physical.
In reality, sexual contact is more than just a fleeting encounter between two people on a physical level. Every relationship you enter into in life has consequences you may not be aware of at the time. Unresolved problems and bad relationships from the past can continue to have an effect in the present. Your feelings can be so caught up in the past that they distort your perception of the here and now. Getting intimately involved with someone means taking responsibility.

Having sex = taking responsibility

Sex is the most intimate expression of love between a man and a woman. However, being sexually desired by someone does not mean that he or she is ready to commit to the other person completely, with all the consequences. But if it is not love that brings two people into bed, then what is it? Sex becomes a mere physical experience in which you do not give yourself over completely.
Sexual intercourse is not just a pleasurable expression of tender affection, but an act that can give rise to new life. If a child is conceived unintentionally, it is more likely to grow up without the love of both parents. In the most tragic scenario, non-committal sex can lead to an abortion. And the consequence of abortion is death: a decision that can never be undone.
A child is never a mistake, a problem, a burden, an accident or a punishment. A child is a gift. Always and in every circumstance. Responsible love knows no fear. Not even of a child.

Why no sex before marriage

Only love is what makes sex beautiful. Or, to be more precise, only conjugal love gives it the beauty that God intends. The Bible tells us that God created man in his own image. “Male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27) They complement and attract each other.
But why does Catholic sexual morality disapprove of sex before marriage? According to Catholic doctrine, sex is the exclusive preserve of married couples. Because marriage is a sacrament, it is something sacred. Abstinence before marriage is not a harsh renunciation that the Church imposes as a heavy burden. Rather, it has to do with the inviolable dignity of man. Remaining abstinent until marriage is a conscious decision of love. The total surrender of the body must correspond to the total surrender of the soul. “A person can give someone no greater gift than himself.” (YOUCAT 407) “I love you” cannot be said on a temporary or trial basis, not even with the body. It is therefore clear that the most beautiful place for sex is marriage.

Growing in love

Nobody is perfect. We all have a past. But God can also write straight on crooked lines. In the sacraments, Jesus has given us remedies so that we can experience his presence and receive his healing power in the various situations of life.
There is no sin, even in relation to your sexuality, that God would not forgive you for. Every time you go to confession, you allow yourself to be touched by God. Like the adulteress the Bible speaks of. After her encounter with Jesus, she began a new life, even becoming a saint. You can become one too. God wants to heal you even where you are not aware of any wounds. He knows you better than you know yourself.
So, remember that love is more than a feeling, love is a decision. Make a new decision for love every day. And then you will make a wonderful discovery: There is such a thing as love for ever!